Brain surgery and excited, two words I would never put together, or any surgery for that matter. When I hear surgery I think, “that’s going to be hard to go through–not only for the person going into surgery but also for the family.”

I guess when people say, “Are you getting excited about your surgery?” they are thinking about how the results of the surgery will be exciting. While that might be true, I’m just asking the Lord to prepare me for His results in the outcome of this surgery, because there is a chance Deep Brain Stimulation won’t help. I’m not trying to be a Jonny rain cloud, but in the recesses of my thoughts this is a fear I have. I hate this feeling of uncertainty, as everyone does. 

Hagar in her time of need, gave God this name, El Roi, meaning the God that sees. Genesis 16:13a states,

“And she called the name of the LORD that spake unto her, Thou God seest me:”

I must remember like Hagar the same God that saw her, also sees me. He knows what I’ll face and will give me peace and comfort as go through this valley of uncertainty.

I don’t know what you are facing this moment, this week, or this month? But El Roi, the God who sees me, also sees you and knows what you’re going through. Take comfort in this thought, He is already in your tomorrow and He will hold your hand as you face this uncertain time in your life. 

I’d like to share this poem I wrote back when I decided to have the DBS surgery. It’s called He Paved the Way. Hope it will be an encouragement. 

He Paved The Way.

Stepping into the unknown is like

Walking into a dark room,

Fearing that you might fall.

As your eyes adjust to the darkness,

You can start to make out shapes.

Reaching out to finally turn on the light.

This is how I feel.

I am still trying to find the light.

I am scared.

What will happen if I turn on the light?

What will change?

What will it feel like?

It is best to not see what the light will convey,

And trust in Him who paved the way.