Thank You, Lord, For Changing Me Instead

“Why, God, why did you allow the doctor to misdiagnose me when I was 3 years old? Now I live every day in a body with a mind of its own. It’s so frustrating living in a tight body right now. Will this Deep Brian Stimulation surgery I just had ever help me?”

Welcome to one of many conversations I have in my head with God, while crying in bed at night. When I wish my circumstances would change, then life would be so much easier—or so I think.

We all have some point in our lives where we have asked the “why” or “what if” questions. But we can’t let it consume our minds; we must rather ask, “How can I use this circumstance for good?” or “What is God trying to teach me through this circumstance?”

Now, I’m not saying it’s wrong to ask the “why” question. Believe me, my thoughts sometimes can become so consumed with “Why, why, why,” that I forget or most likely don’t want to ask, “What is God trying to teach me?”

One scripture verse that helps me is Psalm 42:11:

“Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.”

So, when I’m crying at night in bed, how do my conversations usually end, you may ask? They go something like this:

“God, I know you have a purpose for what I’m going through. Lord, You’re so faithful to give me strength for every day, thank You. I can’t do anything without You in my life. You are my Strength and my Redeemer.”

Yesterday someone shared this song with me called, “When I Hear the Thunder.” This song really resonated with my life. My favorite lines in the whole song are:

“You’ve had a thousand chances to change my circumstances

But thank you, Lord, for changing me instead.”

This part spoke to my heart, also:

“As fear and faith are fighting for control

Amid the raging waters swirling all around me

You’ve become the anchor for my soul.”

My life may get easier, I don’t know. But what I’ve come to learn is that Jesus is and will be my anchor, and He’ll always be right beside me, guiding me through every circumstance.

I don’t know what you have been through or are going through right now, but know the Lord will be right beside you every step of the way.

I hope this song will be a blessing to you.

When I Hear The Thunder

Verse 1
Sometimes at night I cry myself to sleep

After everybody else has gone to bed

Knowing once again I’ve gotten in too deep

And the waters will soon be above my head

And I beg of you to change the world around me

So tomorrow won’t be looking quite so dim

And I awake to the waters deep enough to drown me

But through it all you taught me how to swim

Chorus:

And when I hear the thunder and I think I’m going under

I remember you’re the lifter of my head

You’ve had a thousand chances to change my circumstances

But thank you, Lord, for changing me instead.

Verse 2

There are times I can’t help feeling lost

Like a ship drifting on the open sea

And the wind and waves leave me pitched and tossed

And a storm begins to build inside of me