Why am I still struggling with tightness everywhere? Was this Deep Brain Stimulation surgery worth all the struggle? Did I make the wrong decision? Are these all the improvements I’ll see? 

These were the questions I had implanted in my mind, circulating through my thoughts daily. A few weeks ago I was listening to some new music on my phone. As I was folding my notecards to sell, I heard the song “Never Made A Promise” by the Kingdom Heirs. I didn’t know it then, but that song would be a great encouragement in the days ahead.

 

As I faced the next three weeks until my Botox appointment, I listened to that song along with countless others, just trying to get through the days. Life for me at that time was very isolated. The simple things like eating were at least an hour-long task. I just wasn’t able to function like I had been in previous months. It was miserable. I felt like I didn’t have a purpose. During this time I communicated with several people across the country who live with Dystonia. As I learned their stories and what they go through, it encouraged me because I know a little about what they face from day to day. It also reminded me that I’m not the only person living with Dystonia.

 

The day had finally arrived to get my Botox and hopefully get some answers to the questions that were still circulating around in my mind. After getting 30 injections and some slight changes to my batteries, my doctor gave me the answer to my question, “Is this all the improvement I’ll see?”

 

He kindly replied, “Yes, Abigail, as I told you in the beginning, you would probably get 50% of your ability back in your body.” It has helped loosen my left hand and improved my walking!

 

After hearing the news, I was thinking, “That’s just wonderful I still get to have 30 Botox injections every 3 months!” Instead of thinking, “Thank you, Lord, for answering our prayers for me to regain my independence.”

 

So, late that night, after having a pity party, I remembered sending an email to my grandparents and my friends a few days before I had the surgery with three specific prayer requests. As I looked up the email from nine months ago, I read,

 

“Also pray I’ll accept whatever outcome the Lord allows through this surgery.”

 

I also wrote down in my journal during that same time these verses,

 

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him. Psalm 28:7

 

But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all thy works. Psalm 73:28

 

…followed by this personal journal entry:

 

“My desire for my life during this time.”

 

When I reflected on this email and journal entry, I became convicted about the attitude I had. As I began talking/preaching to myself, I said, “Abigail, the Lord gave you what you asked for! Be happy. Yes, you wished the surgery would have helped more, but at least it allowed you to regain your independent living like you wanted. Hello! Be thankful the surgery even worked—it could have gone the other way….”

 

I won’t bore you with my thoughts; let’s just say I got my thinking straightened out.

 

When I woke up yesterday, I had a peace in my mind and a song in my heart. Guess which song it was? Yep, it was “Never Made A Promise.” The first verse is my favorite, it says,

 

“I have a blessed assurance and it helps me to face every storm.

 

A foretaste of Heaven I cling to and that’s what I’ve build my life on;

 

So instead of the struggles I’m facing let me tell of the Savior I know,

 

How His word is today and for always so I always have a reason to hope.”

 

As a child of God I do have hope even though I may face trials—a blessed assurance that the Lord is coming back to take us to our eternal home. I’m thankful He’s never made a promise that He does not keep.

 

I don’t know what you’ve been facing recently, but I hope this song will be an encouragement to you as it has been to me.

 

 Never Made A Promise 

Verse 1

 

I have a blessed assurance and it helps me to face every storm

 

A foretaste of Heaven I cling to and that’s what I’ve build my life on

 

So instead of the struggles I’m facing let me tell of the Savior I know

 

How His word is today and for always so I always have a reason to hope

 

 

Chorus

 

’Cause there’s never been a long night He won’t bring me to

 

There’s never been a morning His mercies aren’t new

 

There’s never been a moment He’s not all I need

 

He’s never made a promise that He does not keep

 

 

Verse 2

 

Oh, He tells me that He’ll never leave me

 

That He will be strong when I’m weak

 

And I’ll find grace is sufficient; whatever my heartache and grief

 

Oh, the trials of this life always show me He’ll be faithful to me ’til the end

 

That’s why my song, my story is of Jesus my Savior and friend

 

 

Chorus

 

’Cause there’s never been a long night He won’t bring me to

 

There’s never been a morning His mercies aren’t new

 

There’s never been a moment He’s not all I need

 

He’s never made a promise that He does not keep.

 

There’s never been a moment He’s not all I need

 

He’s never made a promise that He does not keep